Thank you for joining us for our first official "Whose on Salad's???" Monday. Every Monday we'll be featuring an anecdote, horror story, craziest person you've every waited on kind of thing. Feel free to pour out your heart and let us hear from you. If you could please email your submissions to intheweedsblog@yahoo.com , we CANNOT wait to hear.. Now it's true I, Chantel, love comedy, but that doesn't mean that your horrifying tales will not be considered.
So let's get started... "I'll go first."
Okay.. we're going to call this story
"Is she God?"
Once upon a time in a glorious steakhouse in a city named after a really bad 80's soap opera, I was working on a very busy Saturday night and I was feeling groovy. I was expected to make a couple hundred bucks and I even felt like I could tolerate the manager, on this evening... you know, I felt like I could hang on for one more day.. especially if we got our usual shift drink..
So this couple from Boston sits down and proceeds to order a nice big dinner and a fancy bottle of wine. I'd say it was around 80 bucks for the wine. This didn't really make me tingle because well everyone orders wine like this.. I mean we sold Stonecrab here.. "oh no.. I've given it away.."
Anyway... the lady, I use that term loosely, told me that she'd like the wine brought over when their dinner hit the table. "Okay.. NO PROBLEM." I said sweetly... Well, cut to 10 minutes later, and I have my ass to them because I'm waiting on another booth directly across, and I hear hyperventilating from the dude from Boston. "Hey, is everything okay? guys.. Stonecrab looks great!" "I..asked... for the.... win....e.... WHERE IS OUR WINE????" "Well, sir, when you went to drop the kids off at the pool, your co-worker/mistress/date/wife told me to bring the wine the instant, the very nano-second dinner arrived. "Do I have eyes in the back of my head and your wine bottle stuck up my ass, I asked him... (in my head) "No, I don't. So it took me 3.2 seconds to go get it from the bar." Well, he lost it. He starts screaming... "Is she God??? Is she God??? Do you have to listen to everything she says... "Well, I think I asked him, "Your kidding right?..." I sat down next to the young couple in the next booth, literally and told them that the table behind me were lunatics.. and I want to say that somewhere in the conversation Bostonian called me a hooker or trailer park whore or something, (not kidding) while being escorted out by our really pissed off manager as he wrote obscenities on the credit card slip... And I thought people from Boston were just bad drivers..
Rude people suck to wait on. I am still shocked every single time a person from an other table interrupts me while I'm waiting on the current table. (I shouldn't be shocked, but I am. I was raised with a little respect, you know?) I also hate when people over-react to the little things like (i.e. hyperventilating). I like to subtlety mock these types of behaviors, or address them. "Ma'am, you seem to be breathing heavily... are you ok? Should I call a medic?"
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